First of all, I’m sorry for my lack of activity! Life got a little bumpy there for awhile. They’re much better now and I’ve got new and exciting things going on…so I’m going to present you all with a cautionary tale. This tale goes for everyone, regardless of size!
So Wednesday night, I couldn’t sleep. I was pretty exhausted by the end of work. On top of it, I didn’t eat much during the day. My right knee had a twinge of pain off and on throughout the day, but I thought I had slept on it wrong a night or two before. When I got home from work, we went to the gym for our usual workout.
By the way, my usual workout training for Couch To 5K. I KNOW!!
Anyway, I get through the first run & walk for this week. Then I got to the first long run. It was brutal. I draped my hoodie over the display so I couldn’t see how much time was left. I dug and dug and dug until it was over. I finished the three minute run at 5.1 (4.6 duration, 5.1 30 sec sprint). The following long walk seemed SO short. Then I had to run the short time again. It was terrible! My brain was fuzzy, I couldn’t catch my breath, and my form had taken a huge nose dive. I debated doing the last run while I did the short walk.
And then like an idiot, I started running for three more minutes.
I had to hold onto the treadmill. I had to do more than hold onto the treadmill. I had to cling to it for dear life. Something just wasn’t right. I stepped off and kind of collapsed against the treadmill. I took a sip of water and tried to jump back on. I couldn’t get more than 2 or 3 more seconds in and I stepped off again, and this time it seemed involuntarily. I was mad at myself. I was exhausted, pushed WAY too far, and all I could do was lean over and cry on the treadmill.
UGH. Just goes to show that no, you cannot skimp on sleep and you cannot skimp on food. These are hard lessons to learn.
Trigger warning: body image, dieting
What better inaugural post to make on this blog than one about motivation? Cuz that’s where I am right now. I’ve been here for a few weeks and I’ve been able to fight it off, but the past couple of days have been particularly difficult. It’s a struggle to put on a workout – any workout – and it’s a struggle to get through it. I only give about 40% because that is as much concern as I can muster, and only giving 40% means I don’t enjoy the workout at all, which means I’m less inclined to do it the next day.
I’m not sure if my fatty exercise brethren have experienced this before, but the old, bad ways of thinking are creeping into my head. I have to do something to offset the days when I don’t workout or don’t workout as hard. If I stop now, things will never change.
That’s all crap. The only thing I have to do to offset the days when I don’t workout or don’t workout as hard is to find a new activity I’ll enjoy, which will snap me out of my indifference. And if I stop now, I’ll just be wasting all this muscle, strength, and endurance I’ve built up and that is what I don’t want to lose. Inches don’t matter. Pounds don’t matter. But I’ve gotten accustomed to how my body feels now and I don’t want to give that up. So I have to find a way to push through the boredom and lack of motivation. I have to find a way to steer my brain away from the negative (I can’t do this, I don’t want to do this, this activity is pointless, etc.) and trick my body into ignoring that little voice in my head when I am in the middle of a workout.
This is my game plan:
- Build on my collection of belly dance videos (you’ll discover my obsession with belly dance soon enough),
- Scour the internet for other fun routines to add to my rotation, and
- Don’t panic
What about you? How do you snap yourself out of this place?